i want to smell like a cookie, but also like a h*e

this made me think of you is mixed feelings’ audience-driven column dedicated to curating a digital window-shopping experience. Respond to this email, dm us, or comment below if there’s something you'd like us to shop for. This week, writer & co-host of the scent podcast Smell Ya Later Sable Yong shares her hyperspecific fragrance recommendations.

With all this blah blah blah of Meta this and AI that, it’s easy to forget that there are some perks of IRL that cannot be pixelated — the biggest one (to me) being scent. You cannot smell or be smelled in the metaverse, a modern tragedy for me and all certified lover girls. To me, there’s no better compliment than “you smell good” or other such musings on how alluring your physical presence is. Your scent is also a great litmus test to attract the ones who get it and repel the ones who don’t.

The way things read on a product page doesn’t do a whole lot to actually tell you what something smells like. It’s like telling you what colors are in a painting and expecting you to know what it looks like. Scents are referential, moody, contextual memory makers. You have to experience them to know what they’re like. They give texture and nuance to life and memory that no other sense does, which is why sentimental freaks like me are obsessed with smells — so much so that I even have a scent podcast called Smell Ya Later. So allow me and my scent knowledge to steer you towards smells that can enhance your presence and intrigue all those in your company (or just yourself).

For 18th-century France: France in the 1700s was a bit on the plague-y side, so things were probably not smelling so great. However, the nobles were all about perfume, since smelling nice was a status thing at the time and bathing was more of a special occasion thing. Luckily we have a lot of (plague-free) options to evoke the halls of Versailles today, like Arquiste Fleur De Louis, which is an olfactive snapshot of the French court in King Louis’s reign. It’s a golden floral bouquet that smells like the opulence of a king. Traditional French perfumery has a way of being what I call “a bit much,” but I guess you kind of have to be a bit extra with it when bathing is scarce. But at least they were pretty gender-neutral when it came to what scents were appropriate for whom — seems like big, floral bouquets were in. When I think of flower bombs, I think of Matiere Premiere Radical Rose and French Flower — both are made with petals harvested from the perfumer’s very own backyard (if your backyard had sprawling rose and tuberose fields that have been in your family for generations, which a lot of nobles probably had, if you think about it).

For zombies, wine, & cheese: This is my idea of a perfect night in. I swear, when I was working my way through The Last of Us and The Last Of Us II (Resident Evil 7 was too scary, couldn’t do it), I would stress-sweat like crazy, so having a fun fragrance to wear became a prerequisite to gaming nights. My picks lean towards the more bubbly, delightful, and gummy candy scents in my collection like Mugler Angel Elixir, Marissa Zappas Annabel’s Birthday Cake, Le Monde Gourmand Maïs Soufflé  (it has a popcorn note!), or Phlur Apricot Privée. I want to feel like I’m in the cinema. I need something to tether me to the (non-threatening) present so I don’t get too sucked into the gore, you know? I also don’t want my place reeking of stress sweat when company is about to come over.

For grass at midnight: The first thing that popped into my head were the Escentric Molecule 01+ scents — particularly the ginger or mandarin ones. They’re a big bottle of iso e super, a scent molecule that’s often that “you but better” skin scent, plus a veil of something more. They’re skin-like, subtle, transparent, and perfect for when you want to smell like the night air (but someplace nice). Also, a very non-gendered-smelling musky scent I love is Abel Pink Iris — it’s musky and salty with a hint of something comforting. I think of smelling a bit like one of those Himalayan pink sea salt lamps when I wear this. 

For London Fog vibes: OK, I am going to assume you’re talking about the beverage, London Fog, the Earl Grey tea made with steamed milk as a latte. It’s an elite choice and great for when you want a bev without all the caffeine. Commodity Milk is one of the most cozy, creamy scents that smells like an expensive marshmallow. Ariana Grande Vanilla Mod is the loveliest cool, sheer vanilla that’s creamy without being overly sugary. TBH, layering that with Escentric Molecules 01+Black Tea or Marissa Zappas Smoked Jasmine Black Tea is the move. I also love Universal Flowering Saffron Flour because it’s comforting with a hint of spicy warmth (it has a horchata note!).

For cookie hoes: I think I’m getting the picture: post-high school sleepover vibes that’s also a music video — got it. Sabrina Carpenter actually has a perfume just for that called Sweet Tooth. It’s indulgently dessert-y, like a vanilla, chocolate chip, ice cream sundae. For a vanilla bomb that veers creamy more than fluffy, Brooklyn Ellis Vanilla Milk hits the spot. For a fancier take, Kilian Princess is my favorite cookie-hoe scent. It’s a warm, spicy, gourmand that smells like a sexy marshmallow nepo baby.  

For come-hither moments: It’s funny, what smells expensive and what is expensive doesn’t necessarily correlate; it’s really all about perception (for instance, oud is one of the most expensive raw materials in the world but to me can smell super earthy and stinky when too concentrated). Projecting expensivity with perfume is all context around what you think luxury feels like. And it sounds like yours may veer towards the fluffier, material, come-hither variety. My most fancy, all-my-credit-cards-are-metal scent of the moment is Amouage Guidance — it’s like a rare night-blooming crystal pink flower from a secret garden. For powdery, musky, vibes, I always reach for anything evoking luxury materials like leathery, cashmere, or silk. Wearing Maison Crivelli Iris Malakhân feels like wearing a cashmere shawl over a silk dress. When I want to smell a bit edgy but soft like the wilting rose emoji, I love Regime Des Fleurs Leather Petals, which feels like a buttery-soft leather jacket. And when I want to smell like a wealthy trophy wife, I reach for Bond No.9 Tribeca — it’s warm, creamy, golden, and decadent, but has a soft transparency to it that feels well balanced rather than like a dessert bomb.