"a girl at night on the internet"
Up until recently, I self-identified as “chronically online”. No matter how you’ve diced and sliced it over the past decade or so — “extremely online,” “terminally online,” and now “chronically” — it all means the same thing: The internet is your happy place. I am: “a girl at night on the internet.”
But that was before “chronically online” developed an icky patina in recent years, and now it’s often used to label some of the most out-of-pocket takes on the internet.
That leaves us — the community of deeply online individuals — in need of, yet again, a new name. A more fitting moniker. Something that encompasses being finger-on-pulse without the finger wagging.
May I present: Obsessively Online. It’s “chronically”’s less annoying counterpart. It’s waking up every morning and joyfully eating the internet for breakfast. It’s the rebranding of doomscrolling to gleefreshing. It’s the thrill of sharing a delicious piece of content you know your friend will love before they’ve had the chance to see it themselves. It’s seeking out your subcultures across digital platforms and feeling more at home with them than you are anywhere else.
The spectrum of Obsessively Online personalities is rich, special, and wide-ranging, but there are a few key ways to spot an OO in the wild. Find your handy guide below.
with all my love and attention,
Amalie MacGowan, deputy editor @
Lazy Glasses. If you’ve been on the internet, odds are you’ve probably seen these. And you’ve seen them roasted to oblivion. I mean, the name itself just feels… totally degrading. But, as I get older, my Obsessively Online concern about “tech neck” has brought me here. These glasses are actually super effective and can work for any occasion — knitting, journaling, reading, scrolling…I call it self-care. — Amalie
TikTok Time Spent. I can’t lie to you. The screenshot above is from my TikTok account. I admit it. I had Covid that week and a lot of free time and I guess I made scrolling on TikTok a full time job as I clocked in FORTY ONE HOURS of time. Okay??? I don’t know what to say. I’ve since put a passcode-protected time limit on the app, so, don’t say “boo” to me. — Amalie
Nuuly Rent *Sponsored*. The trend cycle is vicious. At this moment, fueled by copious hours on TikTok, I have a litany of different "cores" on my mental "to try" list. But buying giant collared sweaters to try clowncore while simultaneously investing in three different shades of leg warmers and wrap-around cardigans for balletcore just doesn't feel like the best — or most sustainable— solution. I've been trying the clothing rental service Nuuly which allows you to rent six pieces every month. They have thousands of styles to choose from but I think it's especially useful for trying more "out there" trends like mixed prints and patterned pants because if a style doesn't work for me, I can just return it and swap it out for something next month. Use our code MIXEDFEELINGS20 for $20 off your first Nuuly order! — Mi-Anne
Pedro Pascal Fancams. Pedro Pascal isn't just the internet's new daddy, he is my daddy (no questions, please). From his screen-shattering outfit pics, to his outspoken support of trans rights, to his portrayal of not one, but TWO reluctant daddies in "The Last Of Us" and "The Mandalorian" it should come as no surprise that fan edits of Pedro being cute abound online. I for one, have already watched three today. — Mi-Anne
Bows on everything. If we had to give predictions of words that will dominate in 2023, I'd throw "whimsy" into the ring. Things, people, films, literature, that evoke whimsy are all I am interested in. I'm just looking to feel something, all the time. Simone Rocha and Sandy Liang's AW '23 shows both took bows to the next level — putting them in hair, on clothes, and even pasted onto cheeks with eyelash glue. They gave a level of whimsy that can only be rivaled by Kiki's Delivery Service (which is peak whimsy!!). I saw the shows and immediately tied six black ribbons onto a white cardigan. — Mi-Anne
All the gadgets. I consider myself a sustainably-conscious person, but I simply cannot stop watching those gadget videos where people run around using 15 different gadgets in their pajamas. I'm talking toothpaste dispensers, fancy mops, self-cleaning brooms and the like. You don't need a single one of these items (even if my favorite is the flower foam soap), but you should give the videos a peruse if you want to be mindlessly entertained and watch folks unbox things with an ax. — Mi-Anne