rayne fisher-quann is a natural exhibitionist
Welcome to mixed feelings’ Hyperspecific, a profile series of increasingly intimate questions in which we ask our favorite artists, scientists, musicians, and the like to unveil their innermost selves — their weird existential musings.
When I see Rayne Fisher-Quann face up on her bed on my phone screen, I know its time to stfu and listen. She puts into words what it’s like to grow up femme in the world, but also the internet, writing such cutting diatribes as: “The aesthetics of consumption have…become a conduit to make the self more easily consumable: your existence as a Type of girl has almost nothing to do with whether you actually read Joan Didion or wear Miu Miu, and everything to do with whether you want to be seen as the type of person who would.”
The best part of having a parasocial relationship with Rayne (aka Internet Princess) is feeling like you can be a contradiction — you can loathe social media while simultaneously clicking “add to cart” on that tank top you got an ad for. You can cry over a comment and then turn around and give not two fucks about it later. You can go to therapy and practice self-care and still feel like a sad little wreck inside.
Given all of the above, you can imagine my excitement when Rayne not only agreed to do Hyperspecific, but said: “These are literally some of my fav interview questions, ever.” Read her answers below.
Something you’re always hoping people bring up in conversation when you first meet. CDs, Selling Sunset, Christian mysticism, media gossip.
A positive trait people always tell you you have. That I’m a romantic.
One destructive trait you know you possess and wish you didn’t. I really try to fight this in myself, but I think I’m naturally inclined to be very self-involved.
If a bodega were to name a dish after you, what would it be? ‘Rayne dinner’: Chicken over rice, white sauce, half hot sauce, no lettuce, with a tangerine La Croix and chocolate Pocky for after.
One song that makes you feel understood. “Ol’ 55” by Tom Waits.
Something you think is wildly underrated. Maybe not underrated, but I think few people appreciate karaoke dive bars the way they deserve to be appreciated.
A movie you watch when you want to self-soothe. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind / The Hudsucker Proxy / the Sex and the City movie
Your problematic fave artist/actor/musician (dead or alive). And why? I guess I’ll say that public-facing morality is almost uniquely relative, and moral complexity is fundamental to the human condition, and all my faves are probably “problematic” somehow to someone. Plus, no good person has ever become an artist.
A line from a TV show/film that plays on a loop in your head. Donald Kaufman — “You are what you love, not what loves you” from Adaptation.
One time you laughed so hard you cried. Talking about my recent breakup with my best friend Sadie.
One time you cried so hard you laughed. Also talking about my recent breakup with my best friend Sadie.
Random thing you hate so much for no apparent reason. Gimmick bars (specifically those fake speakeasies or whatever that make you give a contrived passcode at the door so you can pay $18 to drink next to tech guys trying to impress a controversially younger Hinge date.) I love all dive bars with weird themes.
What’s an anecdote you usually tell to describe how you were as a kid. When I was about 4 or 5, I used to be obsessed with taking off all my clothes in public places — strangers always thought it was funny, and I think I really loved the attention. My parents hated it (obviously) so I started running this scheme where I’d go to a public bathroom and take off all my clothes in there where they couldn’t stop me, and then burst out of the doors and run around as fast as I could. Natural exhibitionist!
What is your low-key hell and actual heaven? Hell is someone trying to show you an episode of Friends. Heaven is the fifteen minutes after a good first date. Heaven is also swimming in the ocean with your best friend (this is maybe actually better than real heaven).
Share a quote of one of the most meaningful things someone has ever said to you, context optional. I think all of the most meaningful things I’ve had said to me were either someone telling me they loved me or someone sort of yelling at me to get my shit together — neither of which feel like particularly good answers to this question, unfortunately.
The age you most loved being and the age you’re most looking forward to. Oh, god. I think I liked being 20 but it still wasn’t great. I just turned 22 and am very much looking forward to it, but I’m also very excited to be, like, 60.
How you exit a party. I famously love being at a party for less than 45 minutes. My dream night is a tight 45 at a party, leaving exactly when I want to and immediately after I’m at my most charming. Ideally I will be leaving with 1-3 close friends and we’ll go to a 24-hour diner afterwards.
How you wanna go. I’ve been saying the same thing since I was 14: painless accident positioned as politically motivated suicide.