rebecca black wants to know your big three

Welcome to mixed feelings’ Hyperspecific, a profile series of increasingly intimate questions in which we ask our favorite artists, scientists, musicians, and the like to unveil their innermost selves — their weird existential musings.

In June 2021, despite having been out for a year and a half, I still felt like a baby gay. I came out, splashy and loud, right before the start of the pandemic — something Rebecca and I share.

I spent the majority of that time getting my gay training wheels with a lightning-quick U-Haul relationship. By the time that relationship ended in May of 2021, I was starving for queer companionship and community. I wanted to touch, taste, drip with it all.

Enter NYC Pride. I crawled from Henrietta Hudson to Ginger’s to the Dyke March to “Hot Rabbit” at Three Dollar Bill in Brooklyn where, as fate would have it, Rebecca Black was performing.

She sang “Girlfriend”, a song that recounts her “getting back with [her] girlfriend”, illustrating the familiar bestie-to-blocked-to-bestie-to-blocked pipeline of queer love. I was in the throes of this for the first time, myself.

Her stage presence was effortless. I crafted an idea of her in my head, drawing the comparison between the two of us: unapologetically femme, big-titty queer women just looking for love and lust in this big world.

Four years of life experience later and I found us seated across from each other in a studio. It turns out our kinship wasn’t so fantastical. Like I said, we both came out at the top of 2020. We’ve watched every episode of The L Word and the Housewives franchises. We both have accumulated “sticker” tattoo sleeves that run down the lengths of our arms (some might call it a queer calling card). We have charts that are heavily grounded in earth signs. We would go to our early graves for Lana Del Rey, if asked.

Salvation, her newest album, is replete with hyperpop anthems I can see throngs of people jumping, sweating, rejoicing to in our increasingly diminishing third spaces. Every season seems to bring a new, joyous, further refined ethos of Rebecca Black. Something that, I think, resonates with us all.

Below, read her responses to our Hyperspecific questionnaire. And try not to listen to “Sugar, Water, Cyanide” on repeat. —

Amalie MacGowan

LEVEL I

1. Something you’re always hoping people bring up in conversation when you first meet.

   Okay, not to be like that queen, but I do love when someone asks me about my star sign. I don't know how much I believe in it, but I find it interesting to hear people's answers or to hear people's thoughts on their star signs and compare that with my [perception of their signs]. Like, I’m a cancer and people either love or deeply despise cancers. And I get it because I know some bad ones!
   

   I am a cancer, but I am surrounded by a Virgo rising and a Capricorn moon. So, I have a lot of earth in my chart. I think I am pretty grounded and locked up for a cancer. I do resonate a lot with the earth in my chart.

2. A positive trait people always tell you you have.

   I think people would say that I'm nice and that I can be brought anywhere and do well on my own. I love to meet people and flirt. I love a good ol’ kiki.

3. One destructive trait you know you possess and wish you didn’t.
   I am a dissociative girl. I can forget an argument happened very easily because I don't want to remember it.

4. If a bodega were to name a dish after you, what would it be? (Be specific.)
   ”The Black Plague” and it's a charcoal smoothie or charcoal lemonade with glitter in it. Would a bodega ever sell that? No.

5. One song that makes you feel understood.
   Right now, “Mariner's Apartment Complex” by Lana Del Rey is really hitting. I love Lana. I'm so loud about that. I've always been a stan. I would collapse if we were in the same room. I die for her. There's a song that was meant to be on Salvation that didn't make it. It is called “Bruise” and it’s definitely Lana-inspired.

6. Something you think is wildly underrated.
   A good, I-dont-wanna-cook-anything pot of mac and cheese. If I'm sick or I don't feel well, that always does a lot. I am very partial to a Kraft Mac & Cheese.

LEVEL II

1. A movie or TV show you watch when you want to self-soothe.

   It's either Real Housewives of Salt Lake City or Beverly Hills. Today I met Sutton [Stracke] and she sang “Friday” to me. It was crazy. She said she plays it for her kids in the car. It's on her carpool playlist. I’m obsessed with her. I love all of the Housewives, though. Meredith Marks is probably my number one. My chaotic queen!

2. Your problematic fave artist/actor/character/musician (dead or alive). And why?
   Well, Lana is definitely one of them. And unfortunately for her, Trisha Paytas. I have stanned her since 2009 when she was making her hair curling tutorials. I was there every step of the way. I was there for My Strange Addiction. I was there for America’s Got Talent. I have ridden with her for years.
   
   One time I saw her in a Topshop from far away, and that was the most starstruck I've ever been in my life. But I didn't say anything. I was too scared. I'm happy she's getting her flowers. I think she has really evolved so much as a person, and I think everyone deserves a chance to show that they can learn and grow, which I love.

3. What’s the first fandom you lost yourself in.

   The first fandom I lost myself in was Justin Bieber. Bieber Fever! I had a cutout, I had posters, I had merch, I had a shrine, I had the doll, I had the book, I saw the movie... I talked about him in interviews like a psycho. He's everything.
   

   I really wish we could go back to a time where mall tours were big. I never got to go to one, but I’d watch videos of them growing up. I was obsessed with the concept of being in the mall and filling it up with thousands of people.

4. Something you bought recently after LOTS of research.

   I'm a big homebody. I've moved a lot in my life and when I moved recently, I went on a big rug search to find the perfect shade of brown for my room. And I did finally find it: Lauren by Ralph Lauren chocolate brown rug with fringe on the side.

5. Who do you main in your favorite video game?

   If I'm playing Mario Kart, I’m Koopa Troopa.

LEVEL III

1. What’s an anecdote you usually tell to describe how you were as a kid?
   I was a really good kid. I did have a little naughtiness, but I kept that away from my family. One time I threw up in an Uber and left my phone there and my mom found out. And that was the only time I got grounded because my mom doesn't believe in grounding. But she was also like: “don't ever lie to me.”

   [Whenever I tell this story] I tell it like I was one of the worst kids in the world. But really, I never snuck out, I never brought people home that my parents didn't know. I just really valued trust with my family. And I always felt like if I wanted to do something, 99% of the time, I could tell my mom and she would get it.

2. What is your low-key hell and actual heaven?
   Actual heaven: I love a night on the couch with my best friends being really stupid and speaking in that best friend language where if anyone else were to hear the conversation, they would not understand.

   My low-key hell is being in an Uber that smells bad, or a bathroom that has that bleach smell. That irks me so bad.

3. One time you laughed so hard you cried.

   I recently had a couple friends who were on tour and I've been getting to know my friend's fiancée for while. And I keep having this thing happen where I think I'm messaging my friend, but I end up messaging her girlfriend and I don't know her girlfriend very well. So I'll send messages after seeing my friend on stage saying: “Oh my God, you're amazing. You're built for this. You're perfect. I'm so proud of you.”
   
   And she'll respond being like, “thanks,” and I’ll realize I sent it to the wrong person. I keep having these embarrassing miscommunications where I look like I'm obsessed with her girlfriend, whom I love. But that has made me laugh so hard. It's just classic embarrassing me.

4. Random thing you hate so much for no apparent reason.
   Avocado toast. Maybe I'm just overexposed to avocados.

5. How you exit a party.
   I love a good goodbye. I love to hug and kiss everyone that I see. I am quite a friendly girl. I leave when I'm ready to leave. I don't love being held in those final conversations where people are really trying to soak up the last things they want to say. If that's happening to someone I know or me, I might physically pull them away and just go. But I love to say goodbye.

6. How you wanna go (either un-seriously or seriously).
   I don't want to go. So I don't know. I would love to go with a full tummy and lots of memories and laughs. Happy and satisfied.