when you say, match my freak, what is your “freak”?

first date questions from normal to unhinged, courtesy of mixed feelings x tinder 💖

Last Thursday was very hot, yes, but also sweet, weird, at times awkward, and intimate in that abstract kind of way — like kissing in a crowd but it’s raining so you feel alone together. We threw our first speed dating event for the sapphics of the New York metropolitan area and a whopping 81 of you showed up to shuffle from table to table meeting new friends and potential lovers. I am both a Cancer and a keen observer, so you know my heart melted a little when I saw two of you sneak away after the first round of speed dating together.

Collectively, as a team, we overheard some real gems, too, including “I’m watching my crush fall in love with someone else,” and “I think it’s a queer dating event, I mean I heard a lot of ‘slays' so I figured I should leave the room.” The room being La Plaz at The Standard High Line, which was the perfect backdrop for the night’s festivities.

If you ask me though, the real star of the night was the Tinder x mixed feelings card game, which was cooked up to serve as first-date question fodder for the evening. My personal favorite (biased because I wrote it), is: “What historical figure would you let haunt you as a ghost?” We had so much fun writing these that I figured we’d just share the whole damn list so you can ask them of your friends, partners, talking stages, or at your next dinner party. The entire team has done this at various social functions and we can attest — people love them. You can find them all below….

But let me take a moment to be sappy: I still can’t believe a brand as big as Tinder wanted to work with us on this highly-local event, and I did honestly text everyone in my orbit when I got the email back in February. Tinder’s marketing team is overwhelmingly queer and down to clown. And sapphic speed dating was the perfect collab between our two brands, because 39% of Tinder users who identify as women do not identify as straight, and according to Match Group’s Online Dating Survey on 2022, Tinder accounted for 1 in 3 relationships among LGBTQ+ females in the U.S. that year. And at mixed feelings…well you all know we’re fruity with it.

A huge thank you is in order to Maggie, Elijah, Elena, Sophie, and the whole Standard and Purple PR teams who helped make this event a reality, as well as the folks at Poketo, Baggu, Doobie, Glow Recipe, Vacation Inc., Tower 28, Uno, Squigs, and Twelve New York for our gifting and charm tables. If you came to the event last night, peruse the incredible photos taken by our photographer (and fellow mf writer) Skyli Alvarez here. Feel free to post any of these to social, but please tag Skyli (@s.ky1i) as the photographer and @mixed.feelings if you do. I’ve shared some choice selects below…

Thank you again to everyone who has supported mixed feelings now, yesterday, and forever. Read on for fun little conversation starters and a whole lot of pictures!

xo, Mi-Anne

TIER 1: LIGHT FARE

• who was your first queer fictional crush?

• what’s something you just don’t understand the hype about? 

• who do you reply to first: your mom, friend, or co-worker?

• which musician would write the soundtrack to your life?

• if i came over for dinner, what would you cook for me?

• pitch me your favorite film, tv show, or book

• what’s your queer “calling card”?

• rank from worst to best: your top 5 alternative milks

TIER 2: WEIRD AND WONDERFUL

• what’s a queer cliché you think you’ve fulfilled if any?

• describe your reels/tiktok algorithm.

• what’s a sapphic tv show you know you should watch but haven’t yet?

• what is your favorite weird, local place to recommend to people?

• what parts of your sign/chart do you identify with? what parts don’t you identify with?

• in-unit dishwasher or laundry?

• first fandom you lost yourself in?

• what’s a funny video that is fundamental to your lore?

TIER 3: DEEP CUTS

• what’s the one embarrassing moment that keeps you up at night?

• would you rather see the person you’re dating 2 days a week or 7 days a week, and why?

• what’s your favorite romance trope? (ie. friends to lovers, love triangle, enemies to lovers, innocent couple/horrible parents)

• if we weren’t here, what would we be doing right now?

• what’s the biggest red flag you ignored because the person was hot?

• kids or pets?

• what’s a conspiracy theory you fully believe?

• do you believe in soulmates?

TIER X: IF YOU DARE ;)

• who’s your favorite ally actor who loves to play lesbians?

• what historical figure would you let haunt you as a ghost?

• what’s the hottest mythical creature and why?

• you can only have one for the rest of your life: eye contact or physical contact

• when you say, match my freak, what is your “freak”?

• do you think you’ll meet someone to date at this event?

All photos by Skyli Alvarez🌟