these gifts are unhinged, i want them
listen here mf-ers,
Considering it’s officially our one-year anniversary (couldn’t make our bday party? Check out the pics here), you should know us pretty well by now. When it comes to the people and products we love, we’re here for the maximalists. For the silly little geese. For the girls whose shelves and closets are overflowing with things that some may even deem “ugly.” (And by ugly I mean, ugly in all the right ways).
That sort of energy is exactly what inspired the third installment of our Unhinged Gift Guide, where we ask our favorite internet folks for the hyper-specific items they’re coveting this year.
From uncomfortably horny anime figures to inescapably long jeans, here’s what’s at the top of our wildly impractical wishlists this year, courtesy of the extended mf fam.
ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧˚,
Anastasia Sanger, social video producer @
20-Foot Long Farm Nap Jeans. These 20-foot long jeans scream “you can never say I’m acting too big for my britches, because my britches are 20-feet long.” As someone who loves strange fashion and is very tall (not 20’-tall but 6’3), I struggle to find jeans that are long enough. I think it would be nice to experience what it’s like to have the opposite problem. Anyway I’m obsessed with these jeans. I’m all about unique pieces and making a fashion statement at the expense of any form of practicality. — Myra Magdalen - keyboard lover, designer & content creator
Six Pack of Labubu Blind Boxes. My rec this year is *specifically* a 6-pack of Labubus (either Have a Seat or Exciting Macaron collection) off of Stock X — nothing screams devotion than *probably* overpaying for cute bag charms. This was really my last resort because they’re sold out EVERYWHERE. And you get all of them! One for all your bags! Even though your bank account will scream, you’re guaranteed to be a winner with this gift :) — Anya Tisdale, multidisciplinary artist + trinket connoisseur
Clam and Pearl Ring and matching Pendant. To me this is the ultimate trinket. The set is stunning, magical, and would *only* set me back about 14k. What a steal!! But maybe 14k is worth it to fulfill my childhood dream of looking like a mermaid with magical powers. Cece Jewellery also does custom pet portraits on her rings and I would die to have my cats immortalized on a gold and diamond ring. — Kelley Heyer, actor, content creator, Pisces
Abstract 14K Gold Grill by @bitter.000000. I've always had messed up teeth since I can remember. From dental procedures to implants— my teeth are far from "perfect." So what better way to highlight my imperfectly perfect teeth than with some abstract grills by @bitter.000000 ? — Yanise Cabrera, aesthetic semi-maximalist, emotional semi-minimalist, and social video producer at Teen Vogue, Them, and Glamour
Special Limited-Edition Charmy Chan. Amongst friends and lover, I am known to be a champion of "little guys". My parents' worst nightmare did indeed come true — I never grew out of the compulsion to spend my weekly allowance on a beanie baby, I've simply broadened my scope. Among some of my treasures are: a bebichhichi wearing a frog costume, a hand-painted ceramic devil, and a vintage Hello Kitty alarm clock. While I always love adding to my collection, there's no greater pleasure than indoctrinating new people into little-guydom. My first pick would be this hand-painted Lucky Cat Charmy Chan from Anmé — my favorite store in Manhattan. — Amalie MacGowan, resident freak & editorial director at
CHANI 2025 Astro Planner. I’m an unapologetic astro girlie and a self-proclaimed girl boss, so a planner that helps me get my life together while serving up starry wisdom and ‘don’t-forget-to-exist’ vibes? Literal perfection. I’m obsessed. — Jazmine Brown, professional overthinker, content creator & founder of
Hand-Shaped Door Handle. I first saw a similar door handle on Tumblr a few years ago and it’s been on my mind ever since. I love how it doubles as a necklace/jewelry holder, too! But my second pick would be one of these customizable sweaters I make because even though I've sewn many, I've never owned one for myself! If I was gifted a blanket sweater, I’d love one of my friend @romansrevenant who takes really awesome urban pictures. — Taylor Blossom, comic artist
Tekla Down Socks in Lingonberry I'm obsessed with these Tekla down socks, even though I know that I would never actually wear them? Tekla suggests that you don these socks while you're sleeping or "in moments of downtime," but I just know my feet would probably explode into flames after about five seconds. I also don't keep my apartment floor nearly clean enough to be rubbing nice Tekla-level cotton all over the place. But I find these delicate sock-slippers to be so princessy in concept, and the shape of them totally adorable—they remind me of the viral MSCHF boots, or my go-to regular degular Uggs, which at least can take a beating outdoors. — Delia Cai, newsletterer extraordinaire @
“I’m Scared” Bumper Sticker. Kim said “you wouldn’t put a bumper sticker on a Bentley” but I actually would because I want my car to be cute, specifically this one from Gentle Thrills. Gentle Thrills has illustrated stickers for every driving mood, but I need the one that tells the Kia Sorento behind me that they are honking at a scared little girl. — Channing Smith, designer, can dish it but can’t take it
All Seasons Holiday Goose Costumes. If you, like me, find yourself lacking in seasonal garb for your lawn goose, this holiday bundle will make sure your feathered friend is never without a festive look. From the patriotic Lady Liberty to the absolute freak of nature that is the Easter Bunny-goose, this pack is, to quote Kendall Roy, all bangers all the time. The only downside is that they don’t make human-sized costumes to match. — Anastasia Sanger, proud lawn goose owner and social video producer at
Half-Naked Gojo Statue. Hmmm feeling like this one is self explanatory, but sure, I’ll elaborate. If I’m being real - idek if this site is legit. But I do know this is High Art. He doesn’t need to be THIS jacked for me personally, but it’s all about that Taemin pose. Our very own Mi-Anne Chan told me mf “could be hornier” in 2025 so here I am revealing my truth to you all. — Logan Tsugita, amorous otaku & art director at mixed feelings
Madonna Party Mask. One of my favorite possessions is a Mamelok paper mask modeled after Annie Lennox. (I found it at the American Visionary Art Museum in Baltimore, the finest unhinged institution in the country; add the gift shop to your bucket list.) I have since learned that the brand, despite dating back to the 1800s, also offers the visages of stars like Freddie Mercury and Bob Marley—but my heart is set on this high-ponied Madonna from the Blonde Ambition Tour era. Another art-pop diva keeping watch from my kitchen wall? A dream. — Jake Smith, tall man & shopping editor at Glamour
Travel Case for Q Tips. I really want a small travel case that can hold Q-tips because they're always flying about in my toiletry bag. But when you are sitting there Googling Q-tip case travel, it's over. You are in your thirties, your life is over. You're never going to get railed again. That's where I'm at. — Cat Cohen, comedian
Editor’s note - We took the hit to our egos and googled “Q-tip travel holder.” Bad news: you’re right, I feel old. Good news: I found this cute Kuromi one for you, you’re welcome.
Chao Crucifix 3D Printed Pendant. What is this you ask? Why, it’s a chao hanging on a cross! What’s a chao? Well, they’re obviously little creatures in the Sonic the Hedgehog universe. “They’re the size of Wisps, with gelatinous, pudding-like bodies,” says Fandom.com, which is a description so stunning I wish I’d come up with it. This Etsy maker, SpudPrintz, has created a number of Sonic-characters-on-crucifixes pendants and they are all incredible but this is the best. The one downside is they’re 3D-printed plastic, but at the price point ($12) I think that’s a fair price to pay for a fantastically niche gift that costs about the same as a Sonny Angel. But if you’re down to wait, save this profile right now, because I spoke with the creator and they allege that sterling silver versions of these pendants may be coming in 2025👀. — Mi-Anne Chan, little cat freak & founding editor