I sense your fear of psychoanalyzing masks a deeper one: of being similar to someone you saw as toxic, and consequently, being toxic yourself. To tackle your desire to psychoanalyze, we need to untangle why becoming like Lisa scares you so much in the first place.
It's hard not to split friends who are sometimes toxic. I have a friend who can be very callous. It can come off as mean and rude, but they actually care a lot.
Wow! I literally feel like I just read my own turmoil of thoughts and self-doubts. Although this prompt is referring to a past friendship, I feel like this really resonates with my relationship with my mother. I strive so hard to push down the toxic parts of her I see in myself, however inevitably they do come up occasionally and when they do, I chastise myself and swear to never do it again. Which of course just leads to a vicious cycle of self-punishment and disappointment. Time for a new approach!! Thank you so much, I really needed to hear this.
i loved all the points that marisa brought up, especially the point about wanting to be helpful instead of actually being helpful. i was wondering though, can a friend just be toxic and that's it? i totally get being introspective and assessing your relationship from both sides, and i certainly don't think marisa was implying that everyone is a little bit toxic, but wondering if extricating yourself from a relationship simply because that person is toxic can be enough?
It's hard not to split friends who are sometimes toxic. I have a friend who can be very callous. It can come off as mean and rude, but they actually care a lot.
Thank you; beautifully, simply written and very helpful!
Wow! I literally feel like I just read my own turmoil of thoughts and self-doubts. Although this prompt is referring to a past friendship, I feel like this really resonates with my relationship with my mother. I strive so hard to push down the toxic parts of her I see in myself, however inevitably they do come up occasionally and when they do, I chastise myself and swear to never do it again. Which of course just leads to a vicious cycle of self-punishment and disappointment. Time for a new approach!! Thank you so much, I really needed to hear this.
i loved all the points that marisa brought up, especially the point about wanting to be helpful instead of actually being helpful. i was wondering though, can a friend just be toxic and that's it? i totally get being introspective and assessing your relationship from both sides, and i certainly don't think marisa was implying that everyone is a little bit toxic, but wondering if extricating yourself from a relationship simply because that person is toxic can be enough?