One of the main things that made me fall in love with her was her smile...I feel like the slight crookedness of her teeth makes her smile…beautiful and unique. Recently she has been going to a dentist and wants to straighten her teeth, but the thought of that makes my heart sink. She's mentioned it a couple of times before we eat and I completely lose my appetite and feel physically nauseated...My problem is that I don't know how to deal with my feelings about it. What if it makes me not as attracted to her anymore after she straightens her teeth? I know it sounds shallow, but I'm not easily physically attracted to others, and I view her as perfect with her natural smile. I value her happiness over mine, so I want her to do what will make her happy...I just want to know how to deal with my feelings of sadness about this situation. — TomatoMan, he/him
What a beautiful reflection on exploring love, letting go of control, and embracing our partner’s journey towards self-contentment, in whatever form it takes.
I would add is that it might be productive for the letter writer to to ask his partner why she wants to fix her teeth. Is it because she feels insecure? Is it because she doesn’t like the way she looks? Having a deeper conversation about the reason that his partner wants to “fix” her teeth can be a very productive and very intimate way of addressing his female partner’s deeper fears about beauty, attractiveness, and self-worth.
As someone who considered a nose job, I ultimately decided against. The love of my close friends helped me realize that my decision was rooted in self-esteem issues and insecurity rather than an actual desire to change my face. People can have different reasons for wanting to get plastic surgery or change their appearance, and I don’t judge their decisions. I would say it’s important however, that people are realistic about what changing their appearance can do for them. As I know from celebrities, having access to the best plastic surgery, doesn’t necessarily guarantee that you’ll be happy, or even satisfied with your appearance. Sending love and care to the letter writer and his partner!
What a beautiful reflection on exploring love, letting go of control, and embracing our partner’s journey towards self-contentment, in whatever form it takes.
I would add is that it might be productive for the letter writer to to ask his partner why she wants to fix her teeth. Is it because she feels insecure? Is it because she doesn’t like the way she looks? Having a deeper conversation about the reason that his partner wants to “fix” her teeth can be a very productive and very intimate way of addressing his female partner’s deeper fears about beauty, attractiveness, and self-worth.
As someone who considered a nose job, I ultimately decided against. The love of my close friends helped me realize that my decision was rooted in self-esteem issues and insecurity rather than an actual desire to change my face. People can have different reasons for wanting to get plastic surgery or change their appearance, and I don’t judge their decisions. I would say it’s important however, that people are realistic about what changing their appearance can do for them. As I know from celebrities, having access to the best plastic surgery, doesn’t necessarily guarantee that you’ll be happy, or even satisfied with your appearance. Sending love and care to the letter writer and his partner!
Crying on a train thank you <3
This gives me the faith I need. The different perspectives are greatly appreciated.