So, I've liked guys before, like a lot, and many, too! Every time the same thing happens. First I realize: hey, he's kinda cute. As soon as they like me back the problem occurs: I find them not attractive — up to disgusting — so I drop them…I'm a highly sensitive person and care a lot for others but for some reason these situations leave me CARELESS, literally couldn't care less. Do I hate affection, commitment, or even men, or is it just my chart being mainly libra? What do I do if I lose interest as soon as I'm liked back? — y.libra, she/her
Great response. I always find it difficult to strike a balance between maintaining independence and giving myself fully and wholeheartedly to a relationship. Being put off by reciprocal interest is definitely one of my triggers to maintain independence. But I really like this idea of a dependency paradox. Relationships definitely should strengthen independence, I want one of these!
You mention the legitimate concern of loss and intense emotional pain that can come when a relationship runs it's course. On some level, I think romance and sex are, both, compelling, and potentially repulsive, even apart from all that risk.
The risk is kind of like being blissfully drugged by the connection where, later, to return crashing to earth, is agonizing withdrawal. But even before that resounding plummet back to the mortal plane, to be consumed emotionally by infatuation and, perhaps, euphoric sexual expression, is to lose the former self. The lure of the carnal, especially with one who seems mysteriously divine to us, is akin to loss of sanity in addition to personal space, obviously. And the power of romantic idealization is to have the once self possessed mind compromised with the promise of euphoria. Even before the worst case possibilities, it is to sacrifice the rational and the controlled and the functional. I don't think you can pursue that possibility any other way. Sometimes it all feels like a parlor trick by mother nature to make more suffering lonely souls in this weary world. Mike.
Great response. I always find it difficult to strike a balance between maintaining independence and giving myself fully and wholeheartedly to a relationship. Being put off by reciprocal interest is definitely one of my triggers to maintain independence. But I really like this idea of a dependency paradox. Relationships definitely should strengthen independence, I want one of these!
You mention the legitimate concern of loss and intense emotional pain that can come when a relationship runs it's course. On some level, I think romance and sex are, both, compelling, and potentially repulsive, even apart from all that risk.
The risk is kind of like being blissfully drugged by the connection where, later, to return crashing to earth, is agonizing withdrawal. But even before that resounding plummet back to the mortal plane, to be consumed emotionally by infatuation and, perhaps, euphoric sexual expression, is to lose the former self. The lure of the carnal, especially with one who seems mysteriously divine to us, is akin to loss of sanity in addition to personal space, obviously. And the power of romantic idealization is to have the once self possessed mind compromised with the promise of euphoria. Even before the worst case possibilities, it is to sacrifice the rational and the controlled and the functional. I don't think you can pursue that possibility any other way. Sometimes it all feels like a parlor trick by mother nature to make more suffering lonely souls in this weary world. Mike.