This podcast episode was recorded on October 17th. I don’t think we knew back then how relevant this conversation would be, about boyhood, growing up, and the pressures — big and small — that young men face today.
I have to admit that before assigning this essay on male “glow ups” (then discussing the topic in detail with HEAVIES writer Chris Gayomali and Them editor Quispe López), I’d ever seriously thought about what it was like to be a boy, to grow up feeling like you can’t open up, that you have to “man up” or shut up. With all our talk of girlhood, there is little shared about the inverse.
Maybe that’s the problem, because come November 5th, it was clear that young men had found outlets in radical places. “Amidst the flurry of postmortem think pieces, one Wired headline summed it up best, Quispe wrote in an email post-election day. "‘The Manosphere Won.’” (Edit note: for the uninitiated, the “Manosphere” is a collection of blogs, forums, podcasts, and communities generally focused on men’s rights and opposition to feminism.)
“The Democrats had run an uninspired campaign and refused to take a stand on the moral issues young voters care about,” Chris added. “Meanwhile, Trump met young men where they were [Joe Rogan, Theo Von, Logan Paul, Adin Ross, and the like], and they, in turn, showed up to vote for him in record numbers.”
This election cycle, Republican candidates funneled over $65 million into anti-trans ads (notably, “Kamala is for they/them”). “It’s moments like these that it’s more important than ever to think about how transphobia, misogyny, and the rise of the Manosphere are all part of the same gnarled tree,” Quispe wrote. “The little comfort I hold onto is that there is always an option to choose a kind and community-oriented form of masculinity.”
This podcast conversation centered men and mascs, but I think anyone can relate to the issues and anxieties brought up within. We cover a lot of ground, from body dysmorphia to bro hangs, dysphoria to the loneliness epidemic. “The conversation we had about what it even means to be a man today — and with any luck, a good, decent one — more relevant than ever,” Chris wrote.
But the point we come back to again and again throughout the episode, is not to give in to self-isolation. “As someone who has literally transed their gender, I know that you can in fact choose the type of man you show up in the world as — you don’t have to give into the toxic models out there,” Quispe wrote. “This conversation can hopefully be a helpful jumping off point for the young men out there who do want an alternative.”
Listen to the full episode above. 💓 — Mi-Anne
Share this post